A great time when I showed courage was probably when I went to Japan for the second time. Let me tell you one thing - the purpose wasn't really a holiday, but to go for the final round of a music competition! I was so excited to go there, but when it was time for the competition, I got very frightened. I was not born to be on stage.
It was on the 12th of October, 2009, and I was in taxi, on the way to the venue where they held the competition. When we got there, a Japanese woman who was going accompany me on the piano led me to register myself, and then into a room I can practice one last time before the competition. Her name was Reiko. The registration counter gave me a number - S7. I tried to get the best out of the chance to practice. Then, when time was over, I went upstairs with Ms. Reiko to the backstage of where I was going to perform. My hands stiffened. I felt butterflies in my stomach. I tried to cool myself down, but it was impossible. I didn't want to do this anymore, but I had to. There was no choice. My mom and Ms. Reiko were both surrounding me. My dad and my brother were sitting on the audience seat, waiting to watch me. I felt so much pressure, I didn't know what to do.
Oh no! S4 was done, and S5 got up. I listened very carefully to S5, and so far, I thought she was the best. S5 headed back to the backstage. Only ONE more to go....S6 went ahead. For a moment, I felt like I stopped breathing. I didn't want to listen to anymore. I placed my head into my hands, and I felt my mom's hands on my back, trying to comfort me. Now this was the part when I really had to show courage. S6 was DONE. It was my turn now.
I had to gather all my courage, as I emerged the stage. Inside, my brain was buzzing around. I tried to assemble all of what my teacher said before I went to Japan, and I had to bring it out onto the stage, through the violin. Well...that was tricky.
When I was in the middle of the stage, I could feel my legs wobbling. Then the shaking of my hands, holding the violin. I tried to grip firmly onto my violin, since I felt it was going to drop soon. I placed the shoulder rest onto my shoulder, and rested my chin on the chinrest, which was right above it. Next, I placed my bow on the E string, the highest string on the violin. I was ready. Ms. Reiko started on the piano, then I joined in with her. For the first few phrases, I could feel that my sound wasn't as firm as it should be. Later on in the piece, I forgot about the tension, so it was abit better. Before I knew it, I was playing my last note. Then, the worried feeling stole me away. Since I wasn't allowed to look at the music score, I was frightened that I might have missed some part of piece, but then that was impossible. The pianist wouldn't be able to carry on if that really happened.
I trudged off the stage. Ms. Reiko was following behind me. It was over. I did it, but I was pretty sure that there was no way I was going to win a prize. I went downstairs, and waited for the results to show up. I was perfectly correct! I didn't get any prizes at all, even though it was close. I did feel a little bit of disappointment, but not much because I already settled my mind that I wouldn't stand a big chance of winning a prize. So that didn't bother me too much.
